Pole Selfies Realities
Everyone takes selfies. Young people, old people, famous people, even animals. So it is without question that poledancers of this mudball should engage in the fad as well. Andrea Tamás' note on this inevitable topic.
In the Good Lord's 2016th year, it is evident that self-portraiture can evolve no further, as it has gone from painters eternalizing their own selves with strokes of their brushes, to smart digital devices with front cameras and filters right at hand.
For those of you less informed in... how can you not know this when my 67-year-old mother does? Anyway, selfies are usually taken with smart phones and then uploaded to social media regardless of image or face quality.
Everyone takes selfies. Young people, old people, famous people, even animals. So it is without question that poledancers of this mudball should engage in the fad as well.
We need our picture taken on the pole. End of story. Do you know how exhilarating it is when you finally nail a new trick? Well, yes, you do. Therefore it must be immortalized through the medium of a digital picture. In class, you will have your trainer or your fellow class-goers who are more than happy to snap a pic of your new trick, whilst shouting profane words of encouragement in your general direction. This is all well and good but what if every soul around you has been cursed with hamfists or more like a hambrain that cannot possibly understand that a toe hanging out of the frame ruins the whole masterpiece? Or what of the lucky f***ers that have a pole at home and want proof that they have in fact mastered the [insert pole trick here] during the weekend?
Do not despair, because you can always take selfies on the pole. Well, almost always. Okay, sometimes.
I will try and give you tips 'cause I'm nice like that. Apply grip generously to avoid faceplanting. Stuff equipment in clothes. Climb. Strike a pose. Hold pose. Now comes the hard part. Depending on the type of device you take with you on your venture, the actual exposure is a bitch. You need a free hand to operate the damn thing. Good luck with that. If you have a mirror, make sure you look great, your toes are pointed, smile and go. If you are like me (clumsy to say the least), the smile part might be missing as you stick your tongue out your mouth in concentration to take the picture WHILE the phone stays in your hand. You can also use a selfie stick but then you need a timer and you have to wait and your smile will be all forced and then you can do it aaaaaall over again.
Repeat if necessary.
If all goes well, you survive without headbutting anything and have taken a bunch of photos out of which one should be acceptable. For many, this is enough. But there is the special breed of polers. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a social whore. I slap filters on that sh*t and on it goes to Instagram and beyond, because hell, I didn't suffer for nothing, dammit! People better familiarize themselves with that Like button in a pronto fashion!
If you don't like receiving those likes and encouraging comments than you are lying. Stop lying. Lying is a sin.
All in all, selfies are fun. Pole is fun. Fun+fun = ?. Comeon, you do the math, I suck at it.
Just don't take the whole thing too seriously and for the love of f***, try and learn to take good pictures of other polers. Or if you are a teacher, add lessons on pole photography. It will benefit us all.
Author: Andrea Tamás